與青年人聊天 (之一)
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青年朋友最常見的提問，「我失戀了，怎麼辦？」
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問：「師父好，去年我失戀了，當時情緒特別激動，想去尋死，但又捨不得父母。我們分手不是因為感情出現問題，而是對方家裡不同意。我天天失眠、睡不著覺，心裡特別難受。」
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我給她的回答：「妳可以這麼想：他可能不適合妳。不管這小夥子長得有多帥、掙多少錢，妳要是嫁給了他，他家的『太上老君』總給妳念咒，尤其是他家的『慈禧太后』垂簾聽政，妳不就慘啦？」
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有時候，這麼想想，自己就解脫啦！
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所以自有妳的真命天子在等著妳。
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妳最後的婆婆可能是個最疼兒媳婦、慈悲學佛，最好的老人家。一看見妳：「哎喲！這不是菩薩轉世嗎？」一眼就看上啦！天天給妳做飯，一個星期給妳捏一回腳，想想這些之後，妳還能為這事煩惱嗎？
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如果你真是一個有福氣的人，自有福氣的另一半在等著你，怕什麼？
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就像做生意一樣，要想投資，就要做好應對風險的心理準備；要想戀愛，就要準備好應對失戀的心理準備。有結婚，就可能有離婚，但是我們不輕易離婚。
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⭐看破並認識到這個規律之後，主動權就在我們手裡了。⭐
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學佛的人不是不痛，而是學會去接受。
不問天不問地，給自己在心裡找個出路，哪怕是傻子的出路，讓自己心裡解脫了，就是英雄，就是智慧。
.
所以我們看透了這個規律以後，反而更解脫、更自在。
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#與青年人聊天、#與青年人聊天之一、#失戀、#看透規律、#解脫
A chat with the youths (Part 1)
One of the most common questions I get from youths is: “I have fallen out of love. What can I do?”
Question: “I fell out of love last year. I was so devastated then that I even considered committing suicide. The only thing that stopped me was my love for my parents… I could not bear to leave them. The reason why we broke up was not because something went wrong in our relationship, but his family did not approve of us being together. I felt terrible and could not accept it. I could not sleep for many nights because of this.”
My reply: “Break-ups… isn’t that a trivial thing? I know of a girl who fell out of love and told herself ‘So be it!’ after a sleepless night. Thinking this way is actually very liberating!”
Think of it this way: “He may not be suitable for you. No matter how good-looking or rich he is, how happy will you be if his empress dowager nags at you constantly or meddles in your affairs once you are married?”
Trust that your soul mate is waiting for you out there. Your future mother-in-law may be the nicest lady in the world who is not only virtuous and reasonable, but also a highly accomplished Buddhist practitioner. She may take one look at you and exclaim: “Oh wow! Isn’t this Guanyin Bodhisattva’s reincarnate?” She will dote on you, preparing meals for you every day and even give you a foot massage once a week. Will you still be troubled by your current heartbreak then?
As someone who is blessed with good fortune, you will definitely have an equally fortuitous soul mate waiting for you. What is there to worry about?
Just as a businessman needs to be mentally prepared for the risks that are intrinsic to investments, falling out of love is a risk that you need to be prepared for whenever you embark on a relationship. Similarly, every marriage carries the risk of a divorce. We need to be prepared for that even as we resolve not to go for a divorce easily.
Once you understand and accept this law of nature, you will have greater control over your life.
Buddhist practitioners get hurt just like anybody else. They are just more accepting and receptive of events that happen to them. Do not waste time railing at heaven or earth. Search for perspectives that will make you feel better. Even if these are foolish in the eyes of others, it is a wise and courageous thing to do as long as it helps to liberate you from the pain.
Understanding this law of nature helps to liberate us and make us feel more at ease.
#ChatWithTheYouths #ChatWithYouthsPart1, #Heartbreak, #SeeThroughTheLawOfNature, #Liberationrnrn與青年人聊天 (之一)
.
青年朋友最常見的提問，「我失戀了，怎麼辦？」
.
問：「師父好，去年我失戀了，當時情緒特別激動，想去尋死，但又捨不得父母。我們分手不是因為感情出現問題，而是對方家裡不同意。我天天失眠、睡不著覺，心裡特別難受。」
.
我給她的回答：「妳可以這麼想：他可能不適合妳。不管這小夥子長得有多帥、掙多少錢，妳要是嫁給了他，他家的『太上老君』總給妳念咒，尤其是他家的『慈禧太后』垂簾聽政，妳不就慘啦？」
.
有時候，這麼想想，自己就解脫啦！
.
所以自有妳的真命天子在等著妳。
.
妳最後的婆婆可能是個最疼兒媳婦、慈悲學佛，最好的老人家。一看見妳：「哎喲！這不是菩薩轉世嗎？」一眼就看上啦！天天給妳做飯，一個星期給妳捏一回腳，想想這些之後，妳還能為這事煩惱嗎？
.
如果你真是一個有福氣的人，自有福氣的另一半在等著你，怕什麼？
.
就像做生意一樣，要想投資，就要做好應對風險的心理準備；要想戀愛，就要準備好應對失戀的心理準備。有結婚，就可能有離婚，但是我們不輕易離婚。
.
⭐看破並認識到這個規律之後，主動權就在我們手裡了。⭐
.
學佛的人不是不痛，而是學會去接受。
不問天不問地，給自己在心裡找個出路，哪怕是傻子的出路，讓自己心裡解脫了，就是英雄，就是智慧。
.
所以我們看透了這個規律以後，反而更解脫、更自在。
.
.
#與青年人聊天、#與青年人聊天之一、#失戀、#看透規律、#解脫
A chat with the youths (Part 1)
One of the most common questions I get from youths is: “I have fallen out of love. What can I do?”
Question: “I fell out of love last year. I was so devastated then that I even considered committing suicide. The only thing that stopped me was my love for my parents… I could not bear to leave them. The reason why we broke up was not because something went wrong in our relationship, but his family did not approve of us being together. I felt terrible and could not accept it. I could not sleep for many nights because of this.”
My reply: “Break-ups… isn’t that a trivial thing? I know of a girl who fell out of love and told herself ‘So be it!’ after a sleepless night. Thinking this way is actually very liberating!”
Think of it this way: “He may not be suitable for you. No matter how good-looking or rich he is, how happy will you be if his empress dowager nags at you constantly or meddles in your affairs once you are married?”
Trust that your soul mate is waiting for you out there. Your future mother-in-law may be the nicest lady in the world who is not only virtuous and reasonable, but also a highly accomplished Buddhist practitioner. She may take one look at you and exclaim: “Oh wow! Isn’t this Guanyin Bodhisattva’s reincarnate?” She will dote on you, preparing meals for you every day and even give you a foot massage once a week. Will you still be troubled by your current heartbreak then?
As someone who is blessed with good fortune, you will definitely have an equally fortuitous soul mate waiting for you. What is there to worry about?
Just as a businessman needs to be mentally prepared for the risks that are intrinsic to investments, falling out of love is a risk that you need to be prepared for whenever you embark on a relationship. Similarly, every marriage carries the risk of a divorce. We need to be prepared for that even as we resolve not to go for a divorce easily.
Once you understand and accept this law of nature, you will have greater control over your life.
Buddhist practitioners get hurt just like anybody else. They are just more accepting and receptive of events that happen to them. Do not waste time railing at heaven or earth. Search for perspectives that will make you feel better. Even if these are foolish in the eyes of others, it is a wise and courageous thing to do as long as it helps to liberate you from the pain.
Understanding this law of nature helps to liberate us and make us feel more at ease.
#ChatWithTheYouths #ChatWithYouthsPart1, #Heartbreak, #SeeThroughTheLawOfNature, #Liberation
