孩子青春期的叛逆如何面對? . 是甚麼東…

孩子青春期的叛逆如何面對?
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是甚麼東西在責罵中,包含著愛;嘮叨裡,透露著關心;沉默時,兜著牽掛;眉宇間,總盼兒平安,這就是「母愛」…
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週末就是母親節了,記得要常抽空回家探望父親、母親,就算是一通電話,一聲問候,都是給父母親最珍貴的禮物。
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因為愛,不在嘴上,不在物質和名相上,而是在心裡。。。
祝福天下的父親、母親:身體健康,吉祥如意!同時祝福大家,闔家幸福、美滿。
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我來自於馬來西亞_名字叫葉嘉俊,法名:來孝。
過去,我特別叛逆,和父母的關係很糟糕,和他們談不到3句就要吵起來。吵架時我根本無法控制自己的情緒,對著父母罵髒話、拍桌子、甚至有想打父母的衝動。其實,我知道父母很愛我,只是隨著自己慢慢長大,我對他們嚴格的管教越來越反感。
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國中二年級時,我交了一個女朋友,一天放學後我因為陪女朋友比較晚回家,母親因為擔心就播了通電話給我,問我在哪裡,我莫名的一股氣衝上來,就在電話中和母親大吵起來。回到家,母親問我電話中怎麼回事,我還理直氣壯的說:「正常打電話而已,沒什麼啊!」爸爸氣急了,打了我一巴掌。從那以後,我和父母的冷戰就開始了。我不和他們一起吃飯,不說話,我們知謙隔了後後的冰層。
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2016年7月我大學畢業了,找了3個月的工作都沒找到,心情很沮喪的時候,母親要我一起去參加「念佛班」,我敷衍的答應了。開始我完全不理會人,也不和人說話,他們要我做什麼我就做什麼,到了第四天,在為父母念佛的時候,過去和父母吵架的畫面,像演電影似的一幕幕湧進腦海,我開始為自己過往對父母親不敬的行為感到愧疚不已,眼淚控制不住地往下流。
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懺悔之後,我的心中感到前所未有的輕鬆。當聽到金菩提宗師講到:「身為子女,要做好子女的本份,要孝順,不要做傷害父母的事情、說傷害父母的話。」我決定不再傷父母親的心了。從那天之後,我改變了對父母的態度,開始懂得感恩父母、學著理解,並且關心他們。
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現在,面對父母的關心和照顧,我會開心地接受,還會和父母一起坐著看電視、聊天,家中的氣氛變得很溫馨,真的好享受這種感覺!
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感謝媽媽當初遞給我的那張報名表,那是我成長過程中收到的,最寶貴的禮物。讓我變得正向陽光、內心柔軟,並且懂得感恩!今年年初,我又一次突破了自己,給爸爸媽媽傳了簡訊,對他們說:「爸爸媽媽我愛你們!」
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#積極、#正向陽光、#葉嘉俊、#叛逆期、#青春熱血、#親情、#感恩rnrnHow do we manage our children’s rebellious adolescent years?

What is it –
in the scolding that exudes love;
in the nagging that reveals care;
in the silence that reflects concern;
between the cease of the forehead that always long for the safety and peace of the children? It is “motherly love”..

This weekend is Mother’s Day. We must remember to find time to return home often to visit our fathers and mothers. Even if it is a phone call, or a simple greeting, these are the most precious gifts for our parents.

This is because love is not merely expressed in speech, in material gifts or gestures in names or appearances, but from the heart… May all the fathers and mothers in the world be blessed with good health, auspiciousness and fulfilling lives! Similarly, may everyone be blessed with familial bliss.

I am Jiajun Ye, from Malaysia. My Dharma name is Laixiao. In the past, I was particularly rebellious and had a poor relationship with my parents. We would quarrel after speaking no more than 3 sentences. I couldn’t control my emotions at all during the arguments, and would be rude to my parents, slam the desk, and even harbor the urge to hit them. In reality, I know that my parents love me, but as I grew up, I became more and more frustrated by their strict discipline.

In the second year of middle school, I befriended a girl. One day after school, I was late for home as I accompanied my girlfriend. My mother was concerned and called to ask my whereabouts. At that moment, an inexplicable anger in me exploded and I had a big quarrel with her on the phone. Back home, my mother asked me what happened. I was unrepentant, saying, “(it was) only a normal conversation, nothing to be concerned about!” Dad was most flustered, and gave me a slap. Since then, cold war began between my parents and I. Daily activities with them such as during mealtimes were in silence, as there was now a “thick layer of ice” between us.

In July 2016, I graduated from university, but struggled for 3 months without finding work. At my most depressed state, my mother asked me to attend a “chanting class”. I agreed only half-heartedly. At the beginning, I totally ignored the class and was not engaged, only doing as I was told. On the fourth day, when the class chanted for our parents, past scenes of the quarrels with my parents flash-backed before me like a movie reel in action. I began to feel ashamed of my disrespectful behavior toward my parents, and tears streamed uncontrollably.

After the repentant chanting, my heart felt a sense of calm that I had never experienced. When I heard Master Jin Bodhi’s advice that, “as children, we should fulfill our obligations, be filial, and do not do hurtful things to our parents”, I resolved never to hurt my parents anymore. From that day on, I changed my attitude towards my parents. I began to be thankful, and learned to understand and care for them.
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Now, I happily embrace the care and concern of my parents, accompany them in enjoying TV shows, and have chats with them. It is now a warm atmosphere at home, and most delightful!

I’m most thankful to my mother who had handed me the application form for the class. It is the most precious gift in my growing up years. It inspired me toward the illuminated path, develop an amiable heart and appreciate gratitude! At the beginning of this year, I achieved another breakthrough, as I sent a message to mum and dad expressing, “Mom and Dad, I love you!

#Proactive, #TowardIlluminatedPath, #JiajunYe, #RebelliousStage, #HotBloodedTeenager, #FamilialAffection, #Gratitude


https://www.facebook.com/1656157281338091_2134410013512813

「一個讓人驚訝的實驗」 . . 在網路上…

「一個讓人驚訝的實驗」
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在網路上,我看過這麼一個實驗:
有一個科學家,把一條大魚放進有許多小魚的池裡,大魚餓了就遊上去抓小魚吃。
過了一段時間,科學家就用一個透明的玻璃瓶把大魚罩起來,再重新放進有很多魚的池子裡。開始,大魚看到小魚就馬上衝上去咬,「咚」的一聲,沒想到卻一頭撞上玻璃瓶,眼前的美食能看卻不能吃,加上肚子又餓,牠非常著急,大魚連續衝撞玻璃瓶,撞得滿頭包,都沒有吃到小魚,牠的體力漸漸的耗盡了,大魚掠食者的角度也不再雄姿萬丈,雖然牠肚子很餓,但是牠每次想吃魚,就會撞得頭破血流,慢慢的,大魚的衝撞越來越少……….
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最後,牠完全絕望了,牠放棄了捕食小魚的所有努力。
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後來,科學家把套在大魚身上的玻璃瓶取下,備受打擊的大魚沉到了池底,一動也不動了。無論有多少條小魚在牠的身邊,甚至嘴邊游來遊去,牠都不會再想張張嘴。最後,這條大魚就這麼給活活餓死了。
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是什麼最讓人失望、放棄?
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聽完這個故事,也許你會說:「師父,這條大魚真是笨啊!」
可是你們想想,大魚原來是個捕魚高手啊,可是,在牠無數次的衝撞碰壁之後,在那個隱形的壁壘面前一次次失敗之後,牠開始懷疑自己原有的捕魚能力,最後徹底絕望,完全放棄自己。
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轉給我這個故事的同修還跟我說:有一種精神上的疾病,叫做「習慣性愚蠢」。
就是說孩子在學習的過程中,會因為某些原因,比如說交不到朋友、考試考不好、或老是被罵「笨」。在孩子的大腦中 ,就會逐漸產生對自我學習的懷疑,並且喪失信心,而表現出的學習障礙。因為當孩子放棄了自己,就真的變得「越來越笨」,還可能因此交上壞朋友走上歪路。
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所以,如果整天處於這樣的負面暗示裡,孩子就會完全相信自己「真的很笨」?!
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「為了孩子光明的未來,請給予孩子更多正面、積極的鼓勵吧!」
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我給父母以下的建議:
1. 多給孩子正面暗示,多觀察孩子的長處。
2. 多給孩子鼓勵,並營造一個正面、積極向上的語言環境。
3. 營造一個光明健康的心理環境,能夠正確認識失敗。
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避免:
1. 情緒失控,無法冷靜。
2. 孩子不聽,直接開罵。
3. 一有問題,爸媽總是唸不停。
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多給孩子正面暗示與鼓勵,給予雙方積極向上的語言環境去溝通。讓孩子的身心都處於光明、健康的環境裡成長、才能幫助孩子變得自信、聰明,而且更有智慧。
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An amazing experiment
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I’ve come across this experiment on the internet:
A scientist placed a big fish into a pond with many small fishes. The big fish would swim up to catch the small fishes to eat when hungry. After a while, the scientist put the big fish in a transparent glass jar and place it back into the pond with lots of fishes. Initially, the big fish came up to bite as soon as it saw the little fishes. “Boom!”, it unexpectedly hit the glass jar. Seeing food before itself yet unable to eat, and with the increasing hunger, it became very anxious. It then continuously knocked at the glass jar until its head was full of bumps. However, it still could not eat at the small fishes. As its physical strength gradually runs out, the big fish lost its prior predatory confidence. Despite being hungry, every time it wanted to eat the fishes, it would get badly bruised. Gradually, the knocks became less..
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Eventually, it lost all hopes of catching the small fishes for food, and gave up all efforts to do so.
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Subsequently, the scientist took out the glass jar that was hindering the big fish. The big fish that had suffered several setbacks simply sank to the bottom of the pond and did not move. No matter how many small fishes swam by its side, even near his mouth, it would not open his mouth. The big fish finally starved to death.
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What is it that is most disappointing and causes one to give up?
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After listening to this story, perhaps you will say, “Master, this big fish is really stupid!”
Yet, do consider that the big fish was originally a fishing expert. Yet, after countless times of colliding with the invisible jar, in the face of the series of failures, it began to doubt its original fishing ability, eventually succumbing to total despair, and then completely giving up on itself.
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The fellow practitioner who shared this story even suggested that there is a mental illness known as “habitual stupidity”. In the process of learning, for some reasons, some children for example, are not able to make new friends, have poor tests’ results, or are always being scolded “stupid”. In such children’s minds, there is a gradual emergence of self-doubt and loss of confidence, becoming a learning disability. As the children gave up on themselves, they may actually become “more and more stupid”, and may also be misled by bad company and be wayward.
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Thus, a child who is subject to such negative cues all day may eventually be led to completely believe that he is “indeed stupid”!
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“For our children’s bright future, please give them more positive and active encouragement!”
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May I suggest the following advice to parents:
1. Provide more positive cues to children, and observe their strengths.
2. Encourage children, and create an environment of positive and active engagement.
3. Create a bright and healthy psychological environment, one that allows for correct understanding of the reasons for setbacks.
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Avoid:
1. Situations where parents have poor emotional control, or are unable to remain calm.
2. Immediate scolding when the children do not obey.
3. Whenever there is a problem, parents always nag repeatedly.
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Provide children with positive cues and encouragement, set the stage for both sides to enjoy a healthy environment for positive language and communication. Let the child’s body and mind nurture in a bright, healthy environment, so as to help children gain confidence, intelligence, and wisdom.
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#ProactivePursuitOfLifeAmbition, #Children, #SelfRealization, #CharacterEducation, #TowardOptimism, #IlluminatedBodyAndMind, #HealthyGrowth、#積極成就的人生、#孩子、#自我暗示、#品格教育、#正向陽光、#身心光明、#健康成長


https://www.facebook.com/1656157281338091_2099649490322199

給已經做為父母的你(妳),別再毒害你的孩…

給已經做為父母的你(妳),別再毒害你的孩子!!!
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「一個讓人驚訝的實驗」

在網路上,我看過這麼一個實驗:
有一個科學家,把一條大魚放進有許多小魚的池裡,大魚餓了就遊上去抓小魚吃。
過了一段時間,科學家就用一個透明的玻璃瓶把大魚罩起來,再重新放進有很多魚的池子裡。開始,大魚看到小魚就馬上衝上去咬,「咚」的一聲,沒想到卻一頭撞上玻璃瓶,眼前的美食能看卻不能吃,加上肚子又餓,牠非常著急,大魚連續衝撞玻璃瓶,撞得滿頭包,都沒有吃到小魚,牠的體力漸漸的耗盡了,大魚掠食者的角度也不再雄姿萬丈,雖然牠肚子很餓,但是牠每次想吃魚,就會撞得頭破血流,慢慢的,大魚的衝撞越來越少……….
.
最後,牠完全絕望了,牠放棄了捕食小魚的所有努力。
.
後來,科學家把套在大魚身上的玻璃瓶取下,備受打擊的大魚沉到了池底,一動也不動了。無論有多少條小魚在牠的身邊,甚至嘴邊游來遊去,牠都不會再想張張嘴。最後,這條大魚就這麼給活活餓死了。
.
是什麼最讓人失望、放棄?

聽完這個故事,也許你會說:「師父,這條大魚真是笨啊!」可是你們想想,大魚原來是個捕魚高手啊,可是,在牠無數次的衝撞碰壁之後,在那個類似隱形的壁壘面前一次次失敗之後,牠開始一次次地懷疑自己、懷疑自己原有的捕魚能力,最後徹底絕望,完全放棄自己。
.
轉給我這個故事的同修還跟我說:有一種精神上的疾病,叫做「習慣性愚蠢」。

就是說孩子在學習的過程中,會因為某些原因,比如說交不到朋友、考試考不好、或老是被罵「笨」 。孩子在他的大腦中 ,就會逐漸產生對學習的懷疑,並喪失了自信心,而表現出學習障礙。當孩子放棄了自己,就真的變得「越來越笨」,還可能因此交上壞朋友走上歪路。

所以,如果整天處於這樣的負面暗示裡,孩子就會完全相信自己「真的很笨」?
.
「為了孩子,請做正面積極的鼓勵!」
為了孩子的身心健康,和美好的未來,我給父母以下的建議。
.
1. 多給孩子正面暗示,多觀察孩子的長處。
2. 多給孩子鼓勵,並營造一個正面、積極向上的語言環境。
3. 營造一個光明健康的心理環境,能夠正確認識失敗。
.
避免:
1. 情緒失控,無法冷靜。
2. 孩子不聽,直接開罵。
3. 一有問題,爸媽總是唸不停。
.
多給孩子正面暗示與鼓勵,給予雙方積極向上的語言環境去溝通。讓孩子的身心都處於光明、健康的環境裡成長、才能幫助孩子變得自信、聰明,而且更有智慧。
.
.
.
#自我暗示的重要
#品格教育
#正向陽光rnrn給已經做為父母的你(妳),別再毒害你的孩子!!!
.
「一個讓人驚訝的實驗」

在網路上,我看過這麼一個實驗:
有一個科學家,把一條大魚放進有許多小魚的池裡,大魚餓了就遊上去抓小魚吃。
過了一段時間,科學家就用一個透明的玻璃瓶把大魚罩起來,再重新放進有很多魚的池子裡。開始,大魚看到小魚就馬上衝上去咬,「咚」的一聲,沒想到卻一頭撞上玻璃瓶,眼前的美食能看卻不能吃,加上肚子又餓,牠非常著急,大魚連續衝撞玻璃瓶,撞得滿頭包,都沒有吃到小魚,牠的體力漸漸的耗盡了,大魚掠食者的角度也不再雄姿萬丈,雖然牠肚子很餓,但是牠每次想吃魚,就會撞得頭破血流,慢慢的,大魚的衝撞越來越少……….
.
最後,牠完全絕望了,牠放棄了捕食小魚的所有努力。
.
後來,科學家把套在大魚身上的玻璃瓶取下,備受打擊的大魚沉到了池底,一動也不動了。無論有多少條小魚在牠的身邊,甚至嘴邊游來遊去,牠都不會再想張張嘴。最後,這條大魚就這麼給活活餓死了。
.
是什麼最讓人失望、放棄?

聽完這個故事,也許你會說:「師父,這條大魚真是笨啊!」可是你們想想,大魚原來是個捕魚高手啊,可是,在牠無數次的衝撞碰壁之後,在那個類似隱形的壁壘面前一次次失敗之後,牠開始一次次地懷疑自己、懷疑自己原有的捕魚能力,最後徹底絕望,完全放棄自己。
.
轉給我這個故事的同修還跟我說:有一種精神上的疾病,叫做「習慣性愚蠢」。

就是說孩子在學習的過程中,會因為某些原因,比如說交不到朋友、考試考不好、或老是被罵「笨」 。孩子在他的大腦中 ,就會逐漸產生對學習的懷疑,並喪失了自信心,而表現出學習障礙。當孩子放棄了自己,就真的變得「越來越笨」,還可能因此交上壞朋友走上歪路。

所以,如果整天處於這樣的負面暗示裡,孩子就會完全相信自己「真的很笨」?
.
「為了孩子,請做正面積極的鼓勵!」
為了孩子的身心健康,和美好的未來,我給父母以下的建議。
.
1. 多給孩子正面暗示,多觀察孩子的長處。
2. 多給孩子鼓勵,並營造一個正面、積極向上的語言環境。
3. 營造一個光明健康的心理環境,能夠正確認識失敗。
.
避免:
1. 情緒失控,無法冷靜。
2. 孩子不聽,直接開罵。
3. 一有問題,爸媽總是唸不停。
.
多給孩子正面暗示與鼓勵,給予雙方積極向上的語言環境去溝通。讓孩子的身心都處於光明、健康的環境裡成長、才能幫助孩子變得自信、聰明,而且更有智慧。
.
.
.
#自我暗示的重要
#品格教育
#正向陽光


https://www.facebook.com/1656157281338091_1812268399060311