愛情的條件
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「在愛情、婚姻裡能幸福美滿的，不是對方條件如何，而是用心去感受！」
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曾經，有個年輕小伙子跟我說：「師父，我是名校畢業的碩士，工作穩定，薪水還不錯，我自認各方面條件也都還可以。可是眼看自己都快35歲了，周遭朋友一個一個成家，我也想要有自己的家庭，不知道為什麼，我就是交不到女朋友！就算認識很多不同的女孩，也沒辦法穩定發展下去。師父，請問我該怎麼辦呢？」
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我看了看他，的確長得還不錯，個子也挺高的，就問他：「那你找女朋友的時候，有什麼樣的條件？」
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他說：「因為是要以結婚為前提交往的，所以我希望她至少學歷不能跟我差太多，讀到碩士就可以了，而且要有份穩定的工作，薪水也不能太差；外型方面，我也沒有要求她要長得多好看，順眼就行，但是一定要留長頭髮，然後要會化妝，帶出門才不會沒面子；還有，我希望她是個孝順的人，性格也要溫柔，最好還能擅長廚藝，也要會打理家事，對了，不要太愛花錢，我喜歡節儉一點的。我要求的不多，差不多就是這樣了！」
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我說：「難怪你找不到女朋友！談個戀愛哪來那麼多條件？談對象的時候，不要用眼睛看，要用心去感受，相信你一定可以找到最適合你的女孩。」
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這小伙子聽了我的話之後，照著做了，不到一年就結婚了。我一瞧，他太太大學畢業，短髮，素著一張臉也沒化妝，和他當初開的條件完全不一樣，但是笑起來的樣子，就是讓人感覺很親切，挺好的一個女孩。
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他跟我說：「師父，先前您要我別用眼睛看，要用心看，我就試著去做了。我太太雖然不是我以前喜歡的類型，可是第一次見到她，我就發現她很善良、很有愛心，而且不知道為什麼，跟她在一起就是覺得舒服，我可以很放鬆。我想，過日子就是要找這樣的人吧，於是交往幾個月，就決定跟她求婚了，現在我們很幸福，謝謝師父！」
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所以，兩個人在一起，最重要的是相處起來覺得舒服、自在，說白一點，就是對彼此的期望不要太高。是人都不完美，但是所謂的婚姻，就是在欣賞彼此優點的同時，也能包容著對方的缺點，然後用真心、用愛攜手克服人生中的關卡，創造快樂、幸福的家庭。
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最後，我要祝福那些已經結婚的人「婚姻幸福」！
也要祝福那些還沒結婚的人，盡快找到「適合你的另一半」！
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#愛情、#條件、#婚姻、#用心、#婚姻幸福、#好伴侶
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The Conditions for Love
“Happiness in love and marriage does not come based on the criteria you set in choosing the other party, but on feelings of the heart!”
Once, a young lad told me, “Master, I am a Master’s graduate of a famous college, with a stable job and decent salary. I think I am eligible in many aspects. Yet, as I approach 35 years in age, I have friends around me who are all settling down. I also want a family to call my own but, I’m not sure why I just can’t find a girlfriend! Even though I know many different girls out there, there is no way to enjoy a stable relationship. Master, what should I do?”
I took a look at him. He was indeed pleasant-looking, with a tall stature. I then asked him, “When you look for a girlfriend, what kind of criteria do you seek?”
He said, “As I’m dating with the intention to marry, I hope that she is as well-educated as I am, with a masters degree. She should also have a stable job, with a salary that is not too bad. Looks-wise, I do not ask that she is gorgeous, just pleasant. However, she must have long hair, and knows make-up so that I will not lose face when we go out. I also hope that she is a filial person, with a gentle character. It is best if she is good at cooking. She should also take care of the housework; and yes, she should not spend too much as I prefer her to be a little frugal. I don’t ask for much, these are more or less all my criteria!”
I replied, “No wonder you can’t find a girlfriend! Why do you have so many conditions when looking for love? When seeking a partner, don’t look with your eyes but feel with your heart instead. I believe you can then find the best girl who suits you.”
After listening to me, the lad did as I said and got married within a year.
I saw that his wife was a graduate, had short hair, did not wear make-up, and was different from his original criteria. Yet, she was endearing when she smiled and seemed like a very good girl.
The lad said to me, “Master, you asked me not to seek with my eyes, and so I tried to do it with my heart. Although my wife does not fit into my favorite profile, I found her very kind and caring. I do not know why, but being with her is comfortable and I am very relaxed. I think I should find such a person to live with. So, after a few months, I decided to marry her and now we are both very happy. Thank you, Master!”
So, for two persons to be together, the most important thing is to get along and feel comfortable, relaxed, and be frank. Expectations of each other should not be too high. No one is perfect, so in a marriage, partners should appreciate each other’s virtues while being tolerant of each other’s shortcomings. Then, with sincerity and love to overcome the obstacles in life, both can create a joyous and, blissful family.
Finally, I would like to bless all married couples with a blissful marriage!
Also for those who have yet to marry, may you swiftly find a suitable another half!
#Love, #Conditions, #Marriage, #Heartfelt, #BlissfulMarriage, #GoodPartner
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