「創造幸福家庭」我會說話了! . 前兩天…

「創造幸福家庭」我會說話了!
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前兩天,有位網友很興奮地給我留言:
「師父,我會說話了!」
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「啊,你原來不能講話?」我問。
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「不是不是,我不是啞巴。可是我之前講話,家裡沒有人愛搭理我,全都跑得遠遠的。我先生每天下班很晚才回家,兒子下課後就把自己鎖在房間裡,女兒更是準備好了,要到幾千里之外的城市去上大學。」
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「那妳之前怎麼講話的,這麼有力度啊?」我小心地提問。
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「唉,說來話長。我以前是出了名的火爆脾氣、在家裡天天數落家人,覺得我可也賺錢養家了,你們都要感謝我。我的孩子那時候正好進入青春期,變得不愛說話,更不愛和我交流。我呢,要嘛責備孩子成績不好、要嘛說他們不聽話,孩子們更不喜歡和我交流,一說話就吵架。
.
開始跟您學習後,我慢慢明白了一些道理,知道與家人需要多溝通。我不再一味責備孩子們,開始反省自己,盡量多想想孩子們和先生的需求,盡量把飯做好吃一些、多關心他們,少一些負面的碎碎念和嘮叨,說話前都先提醒自己,多想想他們聽到會有什麼感受?真的想發火的時候,我就採取您教的絕招:1、2、3,先走人。
.
現在孩子們和先生也注意到我的變化,都說:「媽媽會說話了!」也開始樂於和我溝通。現在家裡吃飯的時候,一家人坐在一起分享今天的大小見聞,開開心心的。女兒還開始告訴我一些她在學校裡遇到的煩心事。我真的又找到做媽媽的幸福了。?」
.
我聽了,也替她開心。想想,這位母親如果不改變,將來子女可能各奔一方,家庭成員互不往來,那個家就不再有溫暖了。
.
一個知理、有愛心的媽媽,能夠創造一個幸福的家庭!
.
希望天下的媽媽們,都是幸福家庭的締造者!
.
#我會說話了、#親子教育、#幸福家庭

「Create a happy family」 – I can finally speak!

Two days ago, an internet friend excitedly left me a message, “Master, I can finally speak!”

“So you couldn’t speak previously?”, I asked.

“No, I’m not a mute. It’s just that when I spoke previously, no one in the house would respond. They would all distance themselves from me. My husband would return home late from work every night and my son would lock himself in his room after school. My daughter was then preparing for college in a city thousands of miles away.”

“So, was the way you communicate previously very authoritative?”, I asked tactfully.

“It’s a long story. I used to be known for my fiery temper. I criticized my family members daily, and held the mentality that since I earned money to support the family, everyone owed me. My children who were undergoing puberty then, became withdrawn and did not like to communicate with me. We would quarrel at the first opportunity.

After I started practicing with you, I gradually understood the reasons and knew that I needed to communicate more with my family. I no longer find faults with the children, and have begun to self-reflect. I consider more about my children’s and husband’s needs, try my best to prepare good food, and show more concern with less negativity and nagging. I now consciously put myself in their shoes before speaking, and consider their feelings. When I get really upset, I’d apply your useful approach of counting: 1, 2, 3, before walking away.

Now my children and husband noticed the change in me. They remarked, “Mommy can now speak!” They are thus happy to interact with me. Nowadays, we share the bits and pieces of the day’s happenings over meals at home blissfully. My daughter also shares her challenges in school with me. I have regained the happiness of being a mother again. ?

I listened intently to her sharing, and am overjoyed for her. Consider if this mother had not changed for the better, her children might have left her and the family broken apart in the near future, and she would not have experienced the familial warmth as she does now.

A wise, reasonable mother, one who is filled with love, has the means to create a happy family!

May all the mothers in the world be the creators of a happy family!

#ICanFinallySpeak,#ParentalEducation,#HappyFamilyrnrn「創造幸福家庭」我會說話了!
.
前兩天,有位網友很興奮地給我留言:
「師父,我會說話了!」
.
「啊,你原來不能講話?」我問。
.
「不是不是,我不是啞巴。可是我之前講話,家裡沒有人愛搭理我,全都跑得遠遠的。我先生每天下班很晚才回家,兒子下課後就把自己鎖在房間裡,女兒更是準備好了,要到幾千里之外的城市去上大學。」
.
「那妳之前怎麼講話的,這麼有力度啊?」我小心地提問。
.
「唉,說來話長。我以前是出了名的火爆脾氣、在家裡天天數落家人,覺得我可也賺錢養家了,你們都要感謝我。我的孩子那時候正好進入青春期,變得不愛說話,更不愛和我交流。我呢,要嘛責備孩子成績不好、要嘛說他們不聽話,孩子們更不喜歡和我交流,一說話就吵架。
.
開始跟您學習後,我慢慢明白了一些道理,知道與家人需要多溝通。我不再一味責備孩子們,開始反省自己,盡量多想想孩子們和先生的需求,盡量把飯做好吃一些、多關心他們,少一些負面的碎碎念和嘮叨,說話前都先提醒自己,多想想他們聽到會有什麼感受?真的想發火的時候,我就採取您教的絕招:1、2、3,先走人。
.
現在孩子們和先生也注意到我的變化,都說:「媽媽會說話了!」也開始樂於和我溝通。現在家裡吃飯的時候,一家人坐在一起分享今天的大小見聞,開開心心的。女兒還開始告訴我一些她在學校裡遇到的煩心事。我真的又找到做媽媽的幸福了。?」
.
我聽了,也替她開心。想想,這位母親如果不改變,將來子女可能各奔一方,家庭成員互不往來,那個家就不再有溫暖了。
.
一個知理、有愛心的媽媽,能夠創造一個幸福的家庭!
.
希望天下的媽媽們,都是幸福家庭的締造者!
.
#我會說話了、#親子教育、#幸福家庭

「Create a happy family」 – I can finally speak!

Two days ago, an internet friend excitedly left me a message, “Master, I can finally speak!”

“So you couldn’t speak previously?”, I asked.

“No, I’m not a mute. It’s just that when I spoke previously, no one in the house would respond. They would all distance themselves from me. My husband would return home late from work every night and my son would lock himself in his room after school. My daughter was then preparing for college in a city thousands of miles away.”

“So, was the way you communicate previously very authoritative?”, I asked tactfully.

“It’s a long story. I used to be known for my fiery temper. I criticized my family members daily, and held the mentality that since I earned money to support the family, everyone owed me. My children who were undergoing puberty then, became withdrawn and did not like to communicate with me. We would quarrel at the first opportunity.

After I started practicing with you, I gradually understood the reasons and knew that I needed to communicate more with my family. I no longer find faults with the children, and have begun to self-reflect. I consider more about my children’s and husband’s needs, try my best to prepare good food, and show more concern with less negativity and nagging. I now consciously put myself in their shoes before speaking, and consider their feelings. When I get really upset, I’d apply your useful approach of counting: 1, 2, 3, before walking away.

Now my children and husband noticed the change in me. They remarked, “Mommy can now speak!” They are thus happy to interact with me. Nowadays, we share the bits and pieces of the day’s happenings over meals at home blissfully. My daughter also shares her challenges in school with me. I have regained the happiness of being a mother again. ?

I listened intently to her sharing, and am overjoyed for her. Consider if this mother had not changed for the better, her children might have left her and the family broken apart in the near future, and she would not have experienced the familial warmth as she does now.

A wise, reasonable mother, one who is filled with love, has the means to create a happy family!

May all the mothers in the world be the creators of a happy family!

#ICanFinallySpeak,#ParentalEducation,#HappyFamily


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在〈「創造幸福家庭」我會說話了! . 前兩天…〉中有 27 則留言

  1. 感恩师父分享。要想家庭和睦幸福,妈妈的言行很重要,因为妈妈是家庭幸福的缔造者,所以妈妈一定要会说话,特别是不能唠叨,指责抱怨训斥家人,这些负面的情绪即伤害家人也伤害自己。家是温暖爱的小屋,不是战场,要想家庭幸福,就要有话好好说,要心平气和的说,要说感恩和爱的话,不说难听的话、不说负面的话、不说闲话、不说伤害的话。相敬如宾才能举案齐眉,和风细雨才能万事顺意,家庭幸福美满!

  2. 我就是师父说的这么个爱唠叨的人!一会管人家喝酒抽烟了!一会嫌人家埋汰了!一会又嫌人家玩电脑不吃饭了!又一会嫌孩子看电视衣服乱扔!师父是不是这些都不能说了!?其实说了也没人听!还让人烦!那咋办呢

  3. ,师父你好,我想知道我白天想练无量大光明,晚上又想练药师大光明,可不可以这样做

  4. 师父,我说话语气虽然很温柔,但就是有时候在单位,说出来的话不小心得罪人,不会说话。有什么办法吗?

  5. 感觉现在比没修菩提禅修的时候,确实会说话了,也不惧怕与人沟通了,禅修给人带来的改变确实是非常的大。

  6. 感恩师父慈悲的分享!师父比妈妈对我们付出的还要多的多!天天教导教化我们,还替我们化解灾难!教会了我们怎样做人!怎样生存!怎样做好自己的工作和事业!又让我们健康!又让我们智慧!又让我幸福快乐!懂我们的不容易也懂我们的种种苦难和面临的困境!都让师父默默的替我们承受了!天下向那里去找这样的好师父啊!
    以前,我是一个低俗不堪的,什么都做不好的一个又笨又傻的女人!不会做女儿,媳妇,妻子,母亲的角色!活着不仅自己痛苦不堪而且没有一点价值意义的行为和心态………
    自从走进菩提禅修!在师父的教化引导下,只用了一年多的时间我就变成了今天这个有修养,有素质,有尊贵的劳动,有包容心,有爱心,又会闭嘴又会用智慧来生活的好女人!所有担当的角色我都会尽心尽力的做到位!从老人到孩子对我的付出非常认可和欢喜!
    师父!我深切的体悟到:在家什么都不要管,只管做好自己就行!对待家庭成员一切从爱出发,就这样简单!就能创造一个幸福的家庭!
    以前,在家呆了20多年,没有见过世面什么也不知道,什么也不懂,现在我可以敢住五星级的高档宾馆!我也可以去吃路边几元钱的合饭,咋样都欢喜!朋友们说:我现在的生活品味真高,她们都追不上了,你们的禅修真好!因此,她们现在也进群学习了。这都是慈母恩师教的,让我拥有了幸福美好!欢喜自在的生活!感恩师父!祝福师父!

  7. 感恩师父分享创造幸福家庭!一个家庭要想家庭和睦幸福,妈妈的言行很重要,因为妈妈是家庭幸福的缔造者,所以妈妈一定要会说话,特别是不能唠叨,指责抱怨训斥家人,这些负面的情绪即伤害家人也伤害自己。家是温暖爱的小屋,不是战场,要想家庭幸福,就要有话好好说,要心平气和的说,要说感恩和爱的话,不说难听的话、不说负面的话、不说闲话、不说伤害的话。相敬如宾才能举案齐眉,和风细雨才能万事顺意,家庭幸福美满。顶礼恩师!

  8. 感恩师父慈悲分享!恭喜师姐!弟子收到!弟子学习师姐!要发?先逃,说柔软的话!只是有时被莫名的发脾气和责被忍着真的也会发?,还是要精进修行,对这些就好对付了。唉这都是考虑验自己的修行!修行从生活做起!祈愿妈妈们都是幸福家庭的缔造者!?叩拜

  9. 感恩师父慈悲分享!我一直在学闭嘴功。但是到今天还是没闭上嘴。功夫还是没练到家还得继续练。

  10. 师父唠叨我有时真控制不住!比如孩子背古诗跟着念了好多好多次,但还不会,我就气的啊!通常我都是忍回去好几次,就开始叨叨不好听的话了!有时也会想想后果!憋着不说话!其实我真不是一个会说话的人师父!心眼太死了!心眼好也没用!没有智慧!有时知道这个人是后妈,我说别人的时候因为给孩子穿衣服太少,我不小心当着后妈的面说人家你是后妈啊给孩子穿那么少,说完一下后悔了!哎…就是特别不小心说话!总不经过大脑说话!

  11. 师父好!我也是个不会说话的人,心直口快,说话爱伤人,经常是处于好心,但是效果不好,说话不会圆融,不讲技巧,直出直入最容易伤到人,了解我的人能接受,不了解的人呢就容易产生误会。在师父时时处处慈悲教导下,我一直在努力在努力、控制在控制改正自己的缺点。

  12. 随喜赞叹这位同修,其实每个家庭和睦相处绝大部分,是与女主人的”态度“有着”绝对性”的关系系。慈悲的师父经常教化我们,要想改变别人首先改变”自己”。勤修练大光明、走八卦、大礼拜、念佛等师父的慈悲”妙法”有了充足够的能量,”情绪”、“脾气”就能控制了而是发火。再加上慈悲的师父教诲、开示不断得到提醒联系生活实际,用慈悲、宽容、感恩之心对待所有的家人,一定会变得和谐幸福快乐?!
    感恩师父慈悲分享、:教化!
    扣拜恩师加持!

  13. 跟着师父 方向
    人人都
    口吐莲花
    心里开花
    脚踩莲花
    心明眼亮???
    顶礼师父
    我无怨无悔拜倒在师父的脚步下???

  14. 师父好!感恩师父慈悲分享和关爱我们健康成长!感恩师父慈悲赐福我们天下妈妈都是家庭幸福的缔造者!弟子感恩顶礼叩拜恩师!

  15. 是啊,语言真的是很难的艺术沟通,祝福师姐改变自己融入温馨的家。感恩佛师分享???

  16. 感恩尊贵的上师!没与您结缘以前!常和儿子斗气!经过您的教化与开示!我们的家庭好和谐!好辛福!感恩大慈大悲的尊贵的上师!顶礼叩拜???

  17. 我那天把师父《慈悲的根基》的开示听了三遍,觉得受益良多。我记住了师父说让我们不骂人,不打人。做到这两点,我觉得我的脾气都比原来好很多。师父的开示还是要多听,听两遍以上和听一遍的收获绝对不一样,越听多越受益。感恩最爱的恩师!

  18. 师父其实我有话想和婆婆说,但是我说了又怕她生气不高兴,有些话不知道该不该说,不说我觉着我们的关系永远都这样隔着,生着!说了又怕自己嘴笨不会说话,惹的不高兴!还是我就继续顺其自然!主要是想说可能也没机会,因为婆婆已经不来我家了!师父我不知道为什么她们会把我们推得远远的!好像没有我们,就一个儿子媳妇孙女!我又是个不理我我不去巴结的人!师父我好像有很多的烦恼障碍!今天早起来又跑出来胡思乱想了!我有时很看不起自己师父!因为好像很计较在这事上!

  19. 师父好!我以前每次生理期时候都很能睡觉,睡眠很好,自从我有压力胡思乱想以后,再也没睡过一个好觉,每天都是休息不好,很困的时候,突然想一件小事我就一下精神不睡了!神经好像特别严重,我自己就怎么都控制不住自己,师父我就好像转里了一样怎么都好像可在乎了!老公一有点风吹草动我就在那胡思乱想!师父也不知道我咋回事,就好像有个劲,一想就抑郁了!昨天早起来又是这样,师父为什么我这个这么重!就总憋着想不开!?

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