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「一個讓人驚訝的實驗」
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在網路上，我看過這麼一個實驗:
有一個科學家，把一條大魚放進有許多小魚的池裡，大魚餓了就遊上去抓小魚吃。
過了一段時間，科學家就用一個透明的玻璃瓶把大魚罩起來，再重新放進有很多魚的池子裡。開始，大魚看到小魚就馬上衝上去咬，「咚」的一聲，沒想到卻一頭撞上玻璃瓶，眼前的美食能看卻不能吃，加上肚子又餓，牠非常著急，大魚連續衝撞玻璃瓶，撞得滿頭包，都沒有吃到小魚，牠的體力漸漸的耗盡了，大魚掠食者的角度也不再雄姿萬丈，雖然牠肚子很餓，但是牠每次想吃魚，就會撞得頭破血流，慢慢的，大魚的衝撞越來越少……….
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最後，牠完全絕望了，牠放棄了捕食小魚的所有努力。
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後來，科學家把套在大魚身上的玻璃瓶取下，備受打擊的大魚沉到了池底，一動也不動了。無論有多少條小魚在牠的身邊，甚至嘴邊游來遊去，牠都不會再想張張嘴。最後，這條大魚就這麼給活活餓死了。
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是什麼最讓人失望、放棄？
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聽完這個故事，也許你會說:「師父，這條大魚真是笨啊！」
可是你們想想，大魚原來是個捕魚高手啊，可是，在牠無數次的衝撞碰壁之後，在那個隱形的壁壘面前一次次失敗之後，牠開始懷疑自己原有的捕魚能力，最後徹底絕望，完全放棄自己。
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轉給我這個故事的同修還跟我說：有一種精神上的疾病，叫做「習慣性愚蠢」。
就是說孩子在學習的過程中，會因為某些原因，比如說交不到朋友、考試考不好、或老是被罵「笨」。在孩子的大腦中 ，就會逐漸產生對自我學習的懷疑，並且喪失信心，而表現出的學習障礙。因為當孩子放棄了自己，就真的變得「越來越笨」，還可能因此交上壞朋友走上歪路。
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所以，如果整天處於這樣的負面暗示裡，孩子就會完全相信自己「真的很笨」？！
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「為了孩子光明的未來，請給予孩子更多正面、積極的鼓勵吧！」
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我給父母以下的建議:
1. 多給孩子正面暗示，多觀察孩子的長處。
2. 多給孩子鼓勵，並營造一個正面、積極向上的語言環境。
3. 營造一個光明健康的心理環境，能夠正確認識失敗。
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避免:
1. 情緒失控，無法冷靜。
2. 孩子不聽，直接開罵。
3. 一有問題，爸媽總是唸不停。
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多給孩子正面暗示與鼓勵，給予雙方積極向上的語言環境去溝通。讓孩子的身心都處於光明、健康的環境裡成長、才能幫助孩子變得自信、聰明，而且更有智慧。
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An amazing experiment
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I’ve come across this experiment on the internet:
A scientist placed a big fish into a pond with many small fishes. The big fish would swim up to catch the small fishes to eat when hungry. After a while, the scientist put the big fish in a transparent glass jar and place it back into the pond with lots of fishes. Initially, the big fish came up to bite as soon as it saw the little fishes. “Boom!”, it unexpectedly hit the glass jar. Seeing food before itself yet unable to eat, and with the increasing hunger, it became very anxious. It then continuously knocked at the glass jar until its head was full of bumps. However, it still could not eat at the small fishes. As its physical strength gradually runs out, the big fish lost its prior predatory confidence. Despite being hungry, every time it wanted to eat the fishes, it would get badly bruised. Gradually, the knocks became less..
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Eventually, it lost all hopes of catching the small fishes for food, and gave up all efforts to do so.
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Subsequently, the scientist took out the glass jar that was hindering the big fish. The big fish that had suffered several setbacks simply sank to the bottom of the pond and did not move. No matter how many small fishes swam by its side, even near his mouth, it would not open his mouth. The big fish finally starved to death.
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What is it that is most disappointing and causes one to give up?
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After listening to this story, perhaps you will say, “Master, this big fish is really stupid!”
Yet, do consider that the big fish was originally a fishing expert. Yet, after countless times of colliding with the invisible jar, in the face of the series of failures, it began to doubt its original fishing ability, eventually succumbing to total despair, and then completely giving up on itself.
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The fellow practitioner who shared this story even suggested that there is a mental illness known as “habitual stupidity”. In the process of learning, for some reasons, some children for example, are not able to make new friends, have poor tests’ results, or are always being scolded “stupid”. In such children’s minds, there is a gradual emergence of self-doubt and loss of confidence, becoming a learning disability. As the children gave up on themselves, they may actually become “more and more stupid”, and may also be misled by bad company and be wayward.
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Thus, a child who is subject to such negative cues all day may eventually be led to completely believe that he is “indeed stupid”!
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“For our children’s bright future, please give them more positive and active encouragement!”
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May I suggest the following advice to parents:
1. Provide more positive cues to children, and observe their strengths.
2. Encourage children, and create an environment of positive and active engagement.
3. Create a bright and healthy psychological environment, one that allows for correct understanding of the reasons for setbacks.
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Avoid:
1. Situations where parents have poor emotional control, or are unable to remain calm.
2. Immediate scolding when the children do not obey.
3. Whenever there is a problem, parents always nag repeatedly.
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Provide children with positive cues and encouragement, set the stage for both sides to enjoy a healthy environment for positive language and communication. Let the child’s body and mind nurture in a bright, healthy environment, so as to help children gain confidence, intelligence, and wisdom.
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