月份: 2018 年 5 月

婚後怎麼相處，才能幸福美滿？
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有一次，一個結婚才兩年的的年輕同修跑來找我抱怨：「師父，我真的受不了我太太了，我想要離婚！」
我說：「你不是才結婚沒多久嗎？怎麼這麼快就鬧起離婚來了？」.
他說：「我太太太懶散了！家裡亂也不好好收拾，我說她幾句，她就生氣！連飯都不煮了，而且還說她上班很累，回家後只想休息，您說，有這樣懶惰的太太嗎？」
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我問：「你們家裡的家事都是誰做的？」
他說：「大部分的事情是她做。」我說：「既然是這樣的話，我想你們還是離婚好了。」
他有些生氣地問我：「為什麼呀？您不是應該勸合不勸離的嗎？」
我說：「奇怪了，這家是你們兩個人的，你們夫妻兩個都要工作，可家事卻大部分都是她在做，我問你呀，既然你這麼愛乾淨，怎麼不自己做呢？」
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他說：「我不是不願意做家事，就是工作太累了。」
我問他：「你工作會累，她工作不會累呀？光埋怨太太家裡就會變整齊了嗎？你不幫忙也就算了，她累了想休息還得被你抱怨懶惰，我覺得她嫁給你實在太可憐，趁你們兩個都還年輕，又沒孩子，要離婚就趕緊離，別再耽誤人家了！反正她沒結婚家事都是照做，說不定跟你離婚之後耳根子還能清靜一些呢！」
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隔了幾個月，我又看到這個同修，我就問他：「最近過得怎麼樣？還鬧離婚嗎？」
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他聽完，有些慚愧地說：「師父，您別笑話我了，當然沒有離婚！那天跟您聊過，回去之後我就反省了一下，我發現您說得很有道理，我太太其實沒有做錯什麼，是我太不體諒她了。明明她上班也很累，但我卻只想到自己，難怪她會生氣！後來，我就開始主動把她沒做完的家事都做完，神奇的是，我太太沒有因為我搶著做事就變得更懶，反而會跟我一起做家事，所以現在我們的感情比以前更好了，也沒再鬧過離婚了！」
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#夫妻關係、#家務分配、#互相體諒rnrnThe secret to a happy marriage

There was once a young practitioner who came complaining to me just after two years of marriage: “Master, I cannot tolerate my wife any longer. I am thinking of getting a divorce!” I asked him: “Why? You have just gotten married not too long ago.” He replied: “My wife is so lazy! She is not doing a proper job in keeping our house clean. Our house is so messy. She got angry when I just tell her off lightly. In fact, she stop cooking entirely and told me she is very tired from working and only wants to rest after work. Master, have you seen such a lazy woman before?”

I asked: “Who does all the housework?”
He replied: “She does most of them.” I continued: “If that is the case, then I think it is better for you to get a divorce.”
Upon hearing what I had said, he appeared upset and asked: “Why? Aren’t you supposed to mediate and dissuade me from separation?” I told him: “Strange, the house belongs to the two of you and though both of you are working, she still does most of the housework. Since you are so particular about cleanliness, why do you not clean the house?”

He replied: “It is not that I am unwilling to do housework, I am simply too tired after working.”
I asked him: “If you feel tired from working, don’t you think your wife also feel the same? Your house will not become neat and tidy just by grumbling about her. Since both of you are still young and childless, you may as well get a divorce fast. Don’t waste her youth and time! Anyway she is currently doing the household chores. At least after divorce, she can experience peace without you constantly nagging by her side!”

When I saw the practitioner again a few months later, I asked him: “How are you recently? Still thinking of getting a divorce?”

When he heard what I said, he looked at me sheepishly and replied: “Master, please do not make fun of me. I did not get a divorce! After I talked to you the other day, I did some self-reflection. What you said made sense. My wife did not do anything wrong. I am not understanding enough towards her. Though she is also tired from work, she still does the housework. I am so selfish. No wonder she is angry! After talking to you, I started to help her with some of the housework. Amazingly, my wife did not turn lazier, but help to do the housework together. In fact our relationship is much better than before and we are not contemplating a divorce!”

#MaritalRelationship, #SegregationOfHousework, #UnderstandingEachOther

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