真假鑽石
有對年輕情侶，感情非常好，準備結婚。男方是我徒弟，沒有什麼經濟基礎，但是丈母娘就要求他一定要給女兒買一個大大的、非常昂貴的鑽石戒指。我這個年輕徒弟無論如何買不起，天天愁眉苦臉的，有一天，實在想不出好辦法，很苦惱地跑來問我，我半開玩笑地說：「買個假的鑽石戒指吧。」
年輕人想想自己實在也沒有別的出路，雖然知道我半開玩笑，後來還是決定這麼做了。結果丈母娘見到鑽石欣喜若狂，天天和鄰里炫耀自己女兒有福氣，有多大的鑽石結婚戒指。後來因緣巧合，丈母娘知道了鑽石戒指是假的，不禁悲痛欲絕，天天數落這對年輕人。還好徒弟的女友非常通情達理，又很愛徒弟，想方設法化解了母親的失落。
這件事情引發我很多的思考。如果徒弟的丈母娘有一顆慈悲、大愛的心，就會想到：「我愛我的女兒，我女兒愛他，那麼他就是我愛的人，跟我的兒子一樣，我為什麼要給他增加經濟負擔呢？」如果她一開始就用這樣慈悲的心來體諒，她便不會強求沒有經濟基礎的年輕人去買大鑽石，也就不會因為看到大鑽石而過分欣喜，更不會因為知道鑽石是假的而悲痛欲絕了。
因此，一顆慈悲的心便可能完全避免這次痛苦的發生。但是因為愛得不夠，愛得自私、刻薄、甚至刁難的時候，最終傷害的就是自己了。
那麼會不會有別人被傷害呢？有。實際上丈母娘的這個要求，在她女兒的身體上深深地捅了一刀。因為男方本來很純情地在愛她的女兒，但是因為丈母娘堅持要求買鑽戒，男方可能就會對這段感情打上一個問號？「你真的愛我嗎？真的愛我為什麼要為難我呢？」就因此種下將來可能分手的一個起因。
因此，用慈悲的心來對待「幸福」、對待身邊的人，就不會用金錢的高低來衡量愛；以寬容的心去對待別人，就是在打下未來得到幸福的基礎。
沒有附加值的愛情才是最真的愛！
#愛的價值、#幸福的心境、#慈悲與福報rnrnThe real and the fake diamond ring
A young couple in love were preparing for their marriage. The man happened to be one of my disciples, and he was not financially strong. Unfortunately the would-be mother-in-law demanded that he buy a wedding ring with a large and expensive diamond. This young man simply could not afford it and was saddened. Having exhausted all means and in deep sorrow, he came to consult me. I told him in jest, “Try getting a fake diamond ring.”
The young man thought about it and came to the conclusion that there was no other way out. Even though he understood what I said was in jest, he decided to give it a try. The would-be mother-in-law was overjoyed on seeing the diamond ring. She boasted to the neighbors that her daughter was so fortunate to have such an expensive diamond ring for her wedding. However, due to unfortunate turn of events, the mother-in-law discovered that the diamond ring was a fake. She was in despair and criticized the young couple repeatedly. Fortunately, the girlfriend was rational and kind. She was also deeply in love with my disciple, so she managed to find a way to mitigate the agony of her mother.
This incident led to some deep thoughts in me. If the mother-in-law had a compassionate and tender loving heart, she would reason, “Since I love my daughter and my daughter is in love with him, I should extend my love to him as if he is my son. Why would I inflict such a financial burden on him? ” In fact, if the mother-in-law had initially dealt with the situation with a tender loving heart, she would not have insisted that the young man buy an expensive diamond ring, even though he was not rich. She would not have been overjoyed by the sight of the diamond, and definitely would not have grieved after finding out later that it was a fake diamond.
Therefore, all the suffering could have been avoided through having a compassionate heart. Unfortunately, her superficial and selfish love in this case resulted in displeasure and hurtful acts, eventually hurting herself.
Were there others who were hurt in this incident? The answer is yes. In actual fact, the demand by the mother-in-law had dealt a heavy blow to her daughter. The young man had initially loved his girlfriend deeply. This incident could have cast doubts about the girlfriend’s love for him and he would question himself, “Does she really love me? If she does why does she impose difficulty on me? ” This could be a cause leading to possible separation of the couple in due course.
If we treat “happiness” and people around us with a heart of compassion, we will not measure love in monetary terms. If one deals with others with a mind of tolerance, he is laying the foundation for achieving happiness in the future.
“Happiness” does not imply how much or how many things one owns; happiness is actually a state of mind.
#valueOfLove, #happinessBeingaStateOfMind, #compassionAndGoodKarma