【禪師問答系列】—父母催婚怎麼辦?
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問：
「我的年齡快三十了，爸爸媽媽總催著我早些結婚，完成我的婚姻大事，但是我覺得一個人感覺挺好的，因為這件事，我與家人的關係變得相當緊張，他們痛苦，我的壓力也很大，不知道該怎麼辦?｣
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禪師答：
爸媽讓你早點完成婚姻大事，你可以告訴他們：「還沒找到合適的對象。」但是如果有勉強合適的人選，就結婚吧。
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因為，佛法要帶給人們的真正的利益是『讓眾生離苦得樂』。
不該結婚的人如果結了婚，光天天打架也就飽了，很難幸福的。
所以，如果你認為自己一個人也很好，就這樣過日子也是行的。
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但是，我要提醒青年的朋友們，學習『把握住幸福』! 當幸福來敲門的時候，該結婚就結婚吧。
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「婚姻｣啊，除了相愛和生孩子外，其實就是生活的「伴侶｣。所以有很多人會把自己的對方稱為『老伴兒』。老伴兒，就是個伴兒，就是生活的伴侶，愛情則是其次。過去很多的老爺爺、老奶奶，沒談過戀愛就結婚，最後還能相伴。
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請記得，「伴侶｣就是「生活的伴侶｣。
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提醒年輕同修們，從長計議、從長思考。
最後，我給大家一個答案：「能結婚就結了吧。」
這樣你爸媽的問題解決了，自己的問題也解決了，把你的老來無伴的孤獨感，提前解決了。
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#禪師妙問妙答、#湊合的幸福、#生活的伴侶rnrnMeditation Master’s Q&A Series’” — How to handle parental stress to get married?
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Question:
“I’m close to 30, and my parents have repeatedly urged me to get married and settle down. In reality, I’m contented being single, but this difference in perspective has caused a rift between me and my family, resulting in general anxiety for all. I feel the immense pressure, and do not know how to handle it.
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Master’s response:
When your parent urge you to settle down and get married, you can allay their concerns by explaining, “I’ve yet come across a suitable life-time partner.” In addition, you could reassure them that you would definitely consider settling down if a suitable partner comes along.
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The Dharma offers a good reference in this instance. We are aware its essence is to liberate sentient beings from sufferings. Applying it to life-long happiness, we can understand that some personalities clash and are not suitable for marriage. These people would invariably encounter bitter disputes with their partners for the rest of their lives should they proceed with marriage. In this way, they would never be happy. For these people, remaining single could be a wiser choice.
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Nonetheless, I would like to encourage our young friends to learn to seize the happiness, especially when the right opportunity and partner comes along, and get married!
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Marriage is more than just falling head over heels in love and then have children. It is about genuine companionship, and that is the reason why couples call their spouses, “my better half”, or “my partner”. This helps explain why many arranged marriages in the past could thrive despite the couples not having met or fallen in love before tying the knot.
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In summary, please remember that your spouse is your life-long companion.
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Last but not least, may I also encourage our young friends to consider marriage with a deeper and longer perspective, and contemplate marriage with a suitable life-long companion. Not only will your parents’ concerns be resolved, you will also have a fulfilling companionship that ensures you do not get lonely as you grow older.
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# Master’s Q&A、 # Arranged marriage、 # Life-long partner
【禪師問答系列】—父母催婚怎麼辦? …
