月份: 2018 年 3 月

好命的女人！！
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很多人時常會羨慕別人「好命」，總是無憂無慮的，這其中是不是有什麼「祕訣」呢？
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其實，想要「好命」不是取決於別人，而是要調整好自己的心態？！
幾個月前，一個女同修來找我抱怨她的命不好。她說她很小的時候就沒有媽媽，爸爸一個人養他們4個姊弟，因為經濟狀況不好，她沒讀什麼書，十多歲就出來賺錢養家；原本以為長大結了婚，就會變得好命，誰知道嫁的老公一點都不顧家；孩子讀書也很糟糕，這讓她覺得自己的命運簡直糟透了，所以她就來問我該怎麼辦？
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我問她：「妳爸爸對你們幾個孩子不好嗎？餓著妳了嗎？還是把妳送到孤兒院了？」
她想了一下說：「那倒沒有，雖然以前日子不好過，但是我爸爸還是堅持把我們姊弟帶在身邊，我知道他盡力了。」
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我說：「那不就得了？有些父母還會拋棄孩子呢！妳的父親至少還把你們留在身邊，又沒餓著妳，就算日子不好過，也平安長大了，有這麼好的父親妳怎麼會命苦呢？」
她說：「可是我嫁的老公一點也不管家裡的事情呀！整天都在外頭忙呢！」
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我問她：「妳老公賺錢有拿回家嗎？他吃喝嫖賭了嗎？還是打妳了？找小三了？」
她說：「我老公賺的錢幾乎全部都會拿回家，沒有吃喝嫖賭，也沒有打我，可能是工作太忙，沒有時間去找小三，但不做家事也不管孩子。」
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我問：「那妳工作嗎？」她搖頭。我說：「他在外頭認真賺錢養家，不吃喝嫖賭、不找小三，也沒打妳，雖然家裡的事情管得少，但不也是因為他相信妳的能力，知道妳有辦法把家裡管好才敢放手嗎？有這麼好的老公妳怎麼會命苦呢？」
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她依然苦惱的說：「我的兒子讀書成績不好，我擔心他以後該怎麼辦。雖然他平時乖乖的不太惹事，就是喜歡待在廚房弄些吃的，像個姑娘家。」
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我說：「喜歡弄吃的可以當廚師，這工作挺好的，只要品行沒問題，那就是個不錯的孩子了，很多媽媽多羨慕妳呀！」接著我又告訴她：「這樣聽起來，我覺得妳命不錯呀！有個好爸爸、好老公，又有個乖兒子，別人想要的妳都有了，還有什麼好抱怨的？妳不要總是看到負面的地方呀！要多往好處想，並且心懷感恩，相信很快的，妳就會有不一樣的感悟了。」
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直到上個月，我又見到她，就問：「現在還覺得自己命苦嗎？」
她笑著向我道謝：「我聽了您的話，開始調整自己的心態，才發現，其實我有那麼好的家人還不知道珍惜；當我試著改變自己的想法之後，我才覺得自己真是個好命的女人，生活也越來越順利了！」
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生命就是如此，也許我們無法改變外在的客觀事實，但是可以改變自己的心態與想法，以正向的態度去面對人生，並珍惜現在所擁有的一切，努力去付出，相信一切終究會有起色的。
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Fortunate Women
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Many people are envious of others’ fortune and carefree lifestyles. Is there is a secret to it?
In fact, being fortunate is not dependable on others, it is about changing your own mindset.
Some months ago, one of our fellow female practitioners came to me and complained about how life has been mistreating her. She told me that her mother passed away when she was very young and her father had to raise all four children single handedly. As her family was poor, she did not have the chance to receive a good education and had to start work at a young age of ten. She thought that she would grow up and marry someone and start a better life. Instead, the man she married to cared less for the family, and her son was not performing well at school. She was very troubled and approached me for advice.
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I asked her: “ How well did your father treat you and your siblings? Did you suffer from hunger? Were you sent to an orphanage?”
She thought for a moment and replied: “ Although life was tough, my father still tried his best to provide food and shelter, and kept us all by his side all the time. I know he did his best!”
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I replied: “ Isn’t that good? While some parents might have left their children, your father stayed by your side, fed you and your siblings. Even though the days had been rough, you grew up rather peacefully. Aren’t you fortunate to have such a caring father?”
She added: ”However, I married a man who does not care for the family at all, and is always busy and rarely at home!”
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I continued to ask: “ Does your husband bring home his earnings? Does he drink, womanize, and gamble? Does he ill-treat or hurt you physically? Does he have a mistress?”
She answered: “ My husband brings home almost all his wages. He does not drink, womanize or gamble, and definitely does not ill-treat or hurt me. As he is quite busy, I don’t think he has the time to keep a mistress. He is just not present at home and doesn’t help raise and teach my son or help with the housework.”
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So I asked, again:” Are you currently working?” She shook her head.
I said: “ Your husband is busy working outside. He does not drink, womanize and gamble, have no mistress, and does not hurt you. Whilst he is seldom at home, he must have the confidence in you to let you handle all matters at home. With such a responsible and thoughtful husband, you must be so fortunate!”
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She continued with much worries:” My son is hopeless in his studies and I worry for him. Although he is not much of a trouble-maker, he tends to be lady-like and likes to stay in the kitchen to make snacks.”
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I responded: “ Your son may possess the potential of a chef! As long as he has no flaws in his character, he is a good child. This is envied by most mothers.” I added: “Actually, I think you have a very good life! You have a responsible father, a good husband and a well-behaved son; an envy for most people. So, there is nothing you should complain about. You can try to see things from a positive aspect, be grateful, and you will soon feel different and lucky.”
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I met her again last month and asked her:” How’s life treating you?”
She smiled and thanked me, saying: “ After your advice, I changed the way I see and think, and realized that I’m blessed with a wonderful family. Only with a change in mindset, I begin to feel that I am so lucky and fortunate!”
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Such is life. When circumstances are beyond our control, we can always change and adapt our way of seeing things with a positive and grateful attitude. In this way, life is always good.
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#Fortunate, #ChangeYourMindset,#ChangeTheWorld, #Cherish, #AFortunateLady
#好命、#改變心態、#改變世界、#珍惜、#好命的女人

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